Cletus and Ollie Part 3
Jeff Stanfield for SPLIT REED
Well after a good meal and a nap it was time to get our rig prepared for some sandhill crane action. They hadn’t planned on shooting cranes so they decided to do a little old-fashioned trading with a group of younger guys. The leader was shooting shots of whiskey with some other guys drinking some cinnamon whiskey they call fireball. What happened to men drinking Bourbon and not some flavored Schnapps stuff and calling it a new thing? Figured he was gonna be dealing with some more flat-billed clowns who have an IG account and pretend to be real hunters. The guy introduced himself as Josh Stoner and offered him a shot of the cinnamon stuff, nice fella but Cletus passed on the flavored stuff and ordered a double crown and water. He asked Josh if that was his rig outside and if he would like to hunt with him and Otis in the morning. Said we have 160 acres of Winter wheat over some corn stubble and the cranes are tearing it up. Said he had left 2 dozen deception sandhill crane dekes in Southeast Kansas. So we have the place just need someone with the tools.
Josh looked at the old man and said. “why I bet we can, let’s go take a look at them”, so they all piled in Cletus's truck. When the truck started you could hear the fat guy in Texas ranting about the current president and him crapping his pants and eating cereal. Josh laughed and said, “you listen to Jeff And Andy?” The old man said, “all the time but I skip the football ones- I hate the NFL and all the overpaid players whining about life..”
Cletus said he hunts with them at Stanfield Hunting in Knox City every November, Josh said one day he was gonna make it down to Texas to do the same. Three, two, one.. Boom another episode this one on Football picks. “Damn him, I told him I wasn’t listing to that shit” and turns it off. They pull into the field and it looks like a constant sea of grey bouncing back and forth. The birds were piling in from the Missouri River. Small groups of 6 to 15 birds with the constant whistling sound that only a crane can make. Josh told them he hunts them and uses a call that his friends in Washington call A Sandhill Steakhouse Crane Call, by Pacific. He said he met a fella named Stefan who sold it to him in the parking lot of strip club in Tacoma.
They start to form a game plan, and Cletus was impressed with Josh's knowledge of birds and techniques. It made him feel good that these young guys appreciated the birds and what it means to be able to hunt. The world needs more Josh Stoners and he was happy to get to hunt with him in the morning. Otis was using a spotting scope looking for a collared bird or a banded one, that old man was making a life change. “Next thing I know he will have an IG account and be wearing them Sitka britches.” Well after some debating and discussing they decided to hunt the edge on a finger that stuck out. Suppose to have a north wind hit overnight and the birds will want to get up to the edge out of the weather. The forecast called for light snow, 30 mph north wind,s and a high of 35 tomorrow with a low cloud ceiling.
Dinner was back at the hotel room, Dawn had made up some cooler dinners for them and she had prepared some roast stew with potatoes, carrots, and jalapeños. She was a Texas girl so jalapeños were part of the ritual for everything she made that wasn’t a dessert. She also made sweet cornbread and had packed them a couple of gallons of sweet tea. God bless her and her granny ‘He-Bird’ for teaching her to cook. These young guys are gonna have a hard time finding a lady that can cook.
Cletus had noticed the last 20 years that the females at school decided cooking and cleaning weren’t life skills they needed. I guess they can pay for a meal just like a man, But who is gonna raise these kids today and teach them home skills. We need more stay-at-home moms and fewer women who think they can pee in a bottle standing up. What’s wrong with having a good-looking woman who wears make up and keeps a clean house and has a warm meal for her man when he gets home at night? I guess getting old just confuses you on what’s important.
After a good meal and a nice rest, it was time to meet Josh at the Cafe for coffee and some breakfast. Over-easy eggs, biscuits and gravy. You can keep that soy latte bull shit and granola. After a couple of mugs of black coffee time to get this hunt started. It was a 10-minute ride and the snow was starting to fall and the temps were a brisk 29 degrees. Cletus's biggest fear was the front would push the cranes out overnight, The wind was cranking so you couldn’t hear anything so it was all on faith. Josh suggested we put out a couple of dozen dive bomb field mallards and pintails and a lucky duck spinner. With the new wind and cloud cover, the ducks should be shopping for groceries.
After the blind was set up and brushed in the three of them settled in and Ollie's dog was whining with excitement. Josh told them his story of chasing birds all over the Midwest and about being raised on the eastern shore of Maryland and escaping the liberal shit storm and heading to God’s country. He runs heavy machinery in the spring and summer and hunts in the fall. As the sun breaks out from the east it’s now a hunting morning. It was one of those mornings where it’s shooting time but it’s darker than the Southside of Chicago during a power outage. Finally, at about 7 am you can see the trees and fence lines. Then Ollie's dog perks his ears and a few seconds later you see them buzzing the spread. A flock of greenwing teal, checking out the morning feed. You assume they are new birds and they are quizzical and Josh hits his duck call and they dip and pull right into the lucky duck spinner.
Josh hollers, “take ‘em!'“ Three dead teal hit the deck. Ollie's dog does his Work and Otis checks the legs as usual. Josh lights up a smoke and offers the others a cigarette but they pass. The next action is a damn Bull canvasback outstretching his wings. He decided he was gonna buzz the spread like Tom Cruise in Top Gun. Well, Josh folded his ass with a great shot and Ollie makes it complete. Otis is already asking Josh if he wanted the bird? Josh says no not really why? Otis said, “not a better-eating bird than a North Dakota Canvasback”. Josh chuckled and said have at it, sir. Finally, the storks start to move around, and a group of seven head right into the spread. Josh turns off the spinner and starts purring on the crane call and the storks don’t even blink. They never get higher than telephone pole high and drop straight in. Three men ripping through BOSS #3 shot, and five cranes hit the ground. Cletus is safe sending Ollie wearing his Rec Specs. He spouts out that he looks like John Salley from his days with the Pistons. All birds are DOA so no worries about them hurting Ollie. A damn crane can be awful mean and with that beak, it’s better to be safe than end the day with a dog missing an eye.
Otis checks for bands again, and while he is doing so a group of cotton tops decides they want to dance. Ollie was still getting bird five when four wigeon drop in the spread. They all four come right in and just as quickly exit back to the mighty Missouri. It seemed like after shooting the cranes the ducks were more of a challenge. The next group of cranes made the same route as the last. They had to be close to 20 birds and the boys knew they only could take 4 more. Cletus told Josh to take two and he and Otis would take one apiece. It happened just like they drew it up, and it wasn’t even 8 am and they had a limit of storks, a handful of ducks, and plenty of time to get out and save that spot for another morning.
Another perfect morning ln the blind. Damn, Cletus didn’t miss teaching or dealing with kids and excuses, but he did miss Dawn and her cooking and those grandkids. He sure wished he would have had more of these with his own boys. Work sure got in the way of doing more of this. Life is too short to not make memories, and today was one for the memory book.
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